Helicopter parents, snowplow types and adults too

As if helicopter parents weren’t enough, today there is a new generation of moms and dads. These so-called types of “snow plows” don’t just float, they stay on the cutting edge by removing potential obstacles in your children’s path to ensure their smooth sailing through this uncertain world of ours.

Case in point: He often referred to the college admissions scandal that erupted in March involving at least 50 arrested parents, including actress Felicity Huffman. Having been caught paying $ 15,000 to secure a false SAT score for her daughter, she expressed “deep regret and shame” and apologized to those who obtained college acceptance on their own merits before serving a very light sentence.

Countless parents reportedly can’t seem to let go of their kidneys and let their adult children fend for themselves, as evidenced by a New York Times / Morning Consult survey of 1,136 parents of 18-28 year olds and 1,508 youth. in that age range.

Among parents, the survey found that:

  • 76% said they had reminded their adult children of the deadlines they had to meet, including for school work.

  • 74% made appointments for them, including a doctor’s appointment.

  • 42% offered advice on relationships and romantic life.

  • 22% helped them study for an exam.

  • 16% helped write all or part of a job or internship application.

  • 15% called or texted to make sure they didn’t sleep during a class or test.

And so on …

Says Republican Senator Ben Sasse of Nebraska, “… Today there is little regard for adolescence as a formative and bounded period. Instead of teaching young people to develop foresight and resilience, many parents and educators are failing to comply. As a result, many young people fail to develop the kind of self-reliance, solid character, and self-esteem they would otherwise have, leaving them unprepared for the rigors of adulthood. “

The result: perennial children who, even in their post-adolescent years, lack the skills, the means to cope with frustration, inconvenience, and failure – the best teacher of all. Unable to fend for themselves, instead of a “can do it” attitude, theirs is a “let someone else do it for me” attitude.

Enter term adult, which translates to behaving like an adult. In other words, keep a job, pay bills, live independently, even write a check and take care of themselves.

Case in point and God’s honest truth: The 21-year-old who was with me at the post office a few months ago told me that she was “grown up” sending a letter of her own for the first time.

He had never heard the term until that day; now I listen to it a lot.

It’s no wonder, then, that young people embrace politicians like Bernie Sanders, ‘who, if elected, would cancel all student debts, forcing taxpayers to take on the role of parent snowplows. The same goes for Elizabeth Warren and her debt erasure proposal based on a borrower’s income.

As for the bottom line, the former dean of freshmen at Stanford University and author of the bestseller Raising an Adult: Break Free from the Trap of Over-parenting and Set Your Child Up for Success, puts it this way: “The point is to prepare the child for the path, rather than prepare the path for the child. You can’t just make them get to the future you want for them. They have to do the work to build the skills. . “

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