Divorce: lawyers are the only winners

There’s a joke out there that scientists are starting to use lawyers instead of lab rats for their experiments. Apparently, scientists were getting too attached to rats, and there are some things even rats wouldn’t do.

Is this cynical? Maybe. But there is also an element of truth when it comes to lawyers and divorce. During a divorce, your emotions are on high alert and you may not be thinking clearly. This lack of concentration for the lawyer’s clients is like blood in the water for sharks.

If you can put your emotions aside for a moment, you and your spouse will realize that mediation is a much better option than going to lawyers and the courts.

IMPORTANT POINT – Courts do not need to decide the division of marital property, child support, and spousal support during a divorce. You just need the courts to make the whole process official and final. If both parties to the marriage can file a self-negotiated agreement with the courts, the courts are perfectly fine with this option. That’s why it’s so important to do most of the legwork before going to court.

If you try to negotiate a settlement through your respective lawyers, you will end up spending a lot more money than you really need.

Imagine this scenario: Lawyer A sends Lawyer B a letter outlining his clients’ position on any particular issue. Lawyer B receives the documents from Lawyer A and then issues his own document to Lawyer A acknowledging receipt of Lawyer A’s documents. Lawyer A then sends a quick note to Lawyer B acknowledging receipt of the documents. If you listen carefully, you can hear the lawyers chuckling quietly as they calculate exactly how many payments they can make on your high-end luxury car on your back.

As ridiculous as it sounds, I’m embarrassed to admit that this actually happened to me. It’s maddening to know that thousands of dollars were wasted needlessly because two parties couldn’t come up with their own solution. If you let your emotions run wild, lawyers will take advantage of this weakness and start charging you hundreds of dollars for an administrative tug of war.

I realize it’s not fair to stereotype an entire profession or group of people, but if lawyers really had the best interests of their clients in mind, they’d send their clients a letter that says: Negotiate a settlement yourselves or we will charge them a large amount of money. for your stupidity

Other options are available if you and your partner are unable to negotiate an agreement on your own. Mediation is a viable option that can get the job done and save both parties a great deal of money. In the end, long after the divorce is final and emotions have subsided, both parties will be grateful that they used mediation.

Like all things in life, choose a mediator wisely. Not all mediators are competent and effective. If you can find a mediator that both parties agree to, you are on your way to dissolving your marriage.