Five reasons why a wedding mediator can save your wedding

5 common myths about wedding mediators

Weddings are wonderful, but families and friends can make the planning experience hell. So I decided to share my talents as a conflict expert with brides who want planning to be as fun as the wedding. I recently came across an article on the web that suggests that premarital counseling is a better alternative than marital mediation. Of course, the writer has a voice, but I wanted to clear up some misunderstandings about what mediation is and how it can really benefit you.

Answers to common myths

It is the day of the bride. She can do whatever she wants and everyone must agree.

Let’s start with the biggest myth. Yes, as a bride, your wedding day is all yours. You have found someone special with whom to share your future. However, you are not the only one who is excited, has long-awaited expectations, and is emotionally invested with how the event unfolds. His family, especially his parents, have waited even longer for this day. The people who have loved and supported you have needs and wants that need to be recognized, even if you can’t (or don’t want to) honor their wishes. You can’t just say ‘that’s hard’ and then hope your relationships won’t change as a result.

A wedding mediator can guide you in finding a good way to listen and respond that respects others and still fulfills your own goals. A premarital therapist could help you deal with your emotions about your mom who wants you to wear her dress or grandpa who wants to invite all of his drinking buddies. But will you have enough skill to train him to find the exact words to explain or how to negotiate a solution? Probably not.

Using a mediator means that you are not able to handle things on your own.

Everybody likes to DIY these days, which is great. But doing it yourself comes with its own challenges. Let me ask you this: if you wanted to dance a beautiful tango as your first dance, wouldn’t you go to a dance instructor to learn how to do it? A wedding mediator is an expert who can teach you how to speak so that someone else will listen and hopefully do as you ask. Invest an hour learning to communicate better will definitely help deal with family and friends more easily. And the advantage is that you will also be prepared to handle your husband.

A wedding is a family event, not a business deal that needs someone to reach an engagement.

In reality, every relationship is based on an agreement that is like a social contract. You agree to behave in a certain way with your parents and perhaps in another way with your fiancé, and in another way with your friends. While you probably didn’t sit down to discuss it directly, these personal agreements have rules, limits, and consequences. And there is a lot of negotiation and compromise (think about the last time you made plans to go out to dinner). A mediator can introduce you to different engagement and collaboration tools and strategies that will make planning your wedding (and your life) less stressful and happier.

This is not something for outsiders.

Some people say that it is better not to air dirty clothes. And if you feel that way, mediation may not be for you. However, a wedding mediator is trained to create a neutral and safe space for you to confidentially share your thoughts and concerns without judgment or planning. The focus is on you and finding a comprehensive solution.

It’s just another expense

Yes, a wedding is definitely an expensive project with many small expenses in that sense that really add up. It is natural to want to save money. You just don’t want to be ‘goofy and dumb’ about it. The hour you spend with a wedding mediator is one of your best savings in terms of stress, aggravation, and worry. Consider these intangible costs:

• Sleepless nights worrying about the budget
• You fight with your mother over the size of the guest list
• Anxiety about negotiating with suppliers
• Worrying about friends and family.

In dollars and cents, you will probably spend more on your shoes or lingerie than on the services of a good wedding mediator, ranging from less than $ 100 to $ 500. What you receive is priceless – a stress-free wedding that you will remember all the time. life.

Try wedding mediation

Wedding mediation is a bit like Twitter. First, no one knew what it was; back then, people thought it was unnecessary. Now, people everywhere have embraced it. Smart brides who want to enjoy planning as much as their wedding day will try and benefit from bridal training. What have you got to lose except the drama?