If enabled, send an SOS

One of my clients (“Bob”) has had numerous bad experiences with the opposing attorney. In recent years, you have become increasingly drained from angry phone calls, insincere arguments, and a general lack of courtesy.

(A side note: One question we address is whether Bob is really surrounded by opposing attorneys seeking to gain some advantage by making him and / or his clients miserable. Seen from a dispassionate perspective, the answer was no. Lesson – own life and observe. This perspective will allow you to recognize if your daily judgments are well founded or if they are influenced by something else).

An opposition lawyer (“Fred”) was particularly rude. Bob had been litigating Fred for a little over a year, and had recognized that Fred’s strategy was to make him angry so that Bob would lose his focus and Fred could gain an advantage. So every time Bob had to interact with Fred, he would brace himself and prepare for something outrageous. But there was one tactic in particular that really pushed Bob over the edge.

The tactic itself doesn’t matter, let’s say he was accused of unprofessional conduct, and every time Fred used this tactic, Bob would rage. To his credit, he was able to handle that anger reasonably well, but it was revealed enough that Fred knew he had found the “right” weapon. All Fred had to do was use a few chosen words, and Bob would go crazy. He described a tingling sensation throughout his body, an awareness that his blood pressure had skyrocketed, and great difficulty staying involved in the issue at hand.

What Bob experienced is “amygdala hijacking.” The amygdala is the “fight or flight” and emotional memory part of the brain. Your job is to protect by comparing incoming data with emotional memories. An amygdala sequestration occurs when we respond out of measure with the real threat because it has unleashed a much more significant emotional threat. For example, the amygdala will react similarly to the threat of being eaten by a tiger (physical threat) and an unfair accusation of unprofessionalism (emotional threat) eliciting the fight or flight reaction.

When one experiences an amygdala hijacking, the amygdala outpaces the neocortex (the thinking part of the brain) and there is little or no ability to rely on intelligence or reasoning. The effect is that the energy is directed exclusively to the kidnapping. The immediate result of a kidnapping is a decrease in working memory. Adrenaline is released and will be present and effective for 18 minutes, and other hormones are released into the bloodstream that will take 3-4 hours to clear.

Also, during a kidnapping, accessible prospects diminish. Instead of four possible solutions, the observer will see only three (excluding half of his original perspective), then two (creating a choice of one or the other), and then only one solution. When there is only one option left, the hijack is complete and the observer reverts to the usual default behavior.

Randy Chittum, an executive coach on the Georgetown Leadership Training Program faculty, recommends the “SOSS” technique for dealing with an amygdala sequestration:

Stop. Stop what you are doing. Bob’s strategy was to put the call on hold or leave the room for a minute; if that were impossible, he would be silent for a moment and identify for himself what had just happened. (“Ah, Fred just said again that I’m not a professional”). This step keeps the neocortex engaged and can prevent the amagdala from taking over.

Oxygenate. Breathe deeply, with intention and purpose. This step also keeps the neocortex hooked.

Strengthen appreciation. It’s hard to have two emotional experiences at the same time, and appreciation counteracts kidnapping. While it is especially effective to appreciate the source of the abduction (ie, that Bob is grateful to Fred as a person, that he values ​​enthusiastic representation of his client, etc.), appreciation of almost anything will be helpful. Unsurprisingly, Bob found it difficult to appreciate Fred, so instead he thought of his family and enjoyed his gratitude for his wife and children.

Examine the landscape. After the abduction, take some time to explore what happened and why. Recognizing the trigger will allow you to avoid being shot in the future. After acknowledging that Fred tended to bring up the charge of unprofessional conduct when he did not get an extension or some other accommodation, Bob was prepared. He knew his work had been successful when Fred expressed his “surprise” one day at Bob’s lack of professionalism, and Bob was able to laugh and reply, “Come on, Fred, we both know that’s not true and it isn’t.” point. Feel free to make your motion, but I cannot consent to another delay in this case. “

What is the lesson for leading lawyers? Leaders who are activated are less effective, thanks to the hijacking of the amygdala. Recognizing, naming, and managing the abduction prevents it from becoming a full-blown reactive event in which the leader loses the ability to see all aspects of the situation and all its possible solutions. By learning to manage one’s own triggers, the leader increases his ability to respond to a situation intentionally, which in turn increases the chance of a successful outcome.