Online Dating: How Can I Eliminate The Wrong Men?

Sally is new to dating training and started out with a desire to learn how to weed out the wrong men. She said: “Every time I meet someone on a dating website, it turns out to be the complete opposite of what I read about them. How can I remove them?”

I told Sally that this is an excellent question, one that many women would like to know the answer to. It’s a shame that people are not as they are described in their profiles. The problem is, most people don’t really know how to explain who they are, and most online profiles sound surprisingly similar. This is why I help many dating coaching clients write their profiles, so they can stand out from the crowd and get noticed more quickly.

The trick to eliminating nasty or wrong types is to read between the lines. For example, if she talks about sex on her profile, guess what her main interest is in meeting women? Yes, you are probably not looking for a long term relationship. Sometimes you have to exchange a few emails and talk on the phone. Sometimes you can’t know until you meet face to face for an hour.

I totally understand how Sally feels. It is frustrating to meet men who are not who they say they are, who misrepresent themselves and just lie. But don’t think that this behavior is limited to men only. Women do too. As a dating coach, I think it helps to remember that there are all kinds of people and that bad behavior isn’t just for men.

With my dating coaching clients, we work on creating a system for qualifying prospects before meeting them. Most clients have found that with a few changes and a little knowledge about the process, they greatly improve the reading between the lines and eliminate inappropriate men.

Keep in mind that to find your prince, you must eliminate many frogs. This is how it works and there is no way around it. But you will learn a lot about yourself, what you are looking for, and what will work for you as you go through the process with your eyes, heart, and mind open to men and love.

Sometimes women think the dating process should be instant and easy as you can choose the right man from Match.com’s “online catalog”. Unfortunately, that is not realistic. It takes time, patience, faith, and the ability to laugh and stay cheerful!

Don’t be put off by that. Look at it this way: every man you meet brings you closer to a man closer to the one who is right for you. It’s out there, I know. I found love after 40 and many of my clients have found love. And that means that you too can find the love you want and deserve.