Success from failure

Those of you who know me know that I am always looking for ways to improve and grow as an individual. Last weekend, I attended a one-hour seminar that was hosted by Dennis McCurdy from Sturbridge, MA. It was to give people an idea of ​​his eight-week personal development program.

He talked about habitual goal setting, creating a vision, getting rid of our negative self-talk, and overcoming our fears. I run those seminars myself, however, I learned more than I expected.

Dennis took a step beyond what I had been in the past. He made us try to break an inch thick board with our bare hands. I wanted to experiment as much as possible, so I volunteered to be the first to try. I prepared myself mentally, I saw in my mind that my hand was going through the board, I raised my hand and lowered it with force. The board snapped like a toothpick. I was amazed at how easy it was to do something that I thought would be difficult.

Then he took an arrow and told us how we could break it with the neck. He showed how to place the end of the pen against the wall and put the tip in the soft part of our throat. We were to lean on it until it broke. He proved it and, indeed, the arrow broke.

When he asked for volunteers, I was NOT the first to raise my hand. This was raising the stakes. If he broke my hand, that was one thing, but if he pierced my throat with an arrow, it could be fatal.

I watched as another participant broke the arrow in two. I thought, well, I might as well give it a try. I got up, leaned the arrow against the wall, strategically placed the point against my throat, and began to lean toward her. I bowed hard and as the other members of the class told me that I was beginning to bend, I felt the feeling that the arrow was going to crush my larynx.

I am a lecturer and trainer. Without my voice, I couldn’t work. I immediately turned away from the arrow. Both the class and Dennis encouraged me to try again. They assured me that I had almost succeeded. So I tried again. When I leaned toward the arrow, the class again gave me feedback that they could see the arrow bending. I leaned in harder and again felt the sensation of crushing my larynx. I stepped back. Although they encouraged me to try again, I did not dare to do so.

I sat up, convinced that it had saved me from losing my voice. As I processed the experience, I realized that I had experienced this feeling many times. I convince myself that something disastrous will happen if I go ahead and act on an idea that I have. I can think of many good reasons why it won’t work. Each based on what I consider to be fact.

Like the experience of the arrow, I feel that many times we fall away from success because of the “hard evidence” that we fabricate in our minds.

I think I learned as much from my failure to break the arrow, perhaps even more, than if I had succeeded in my attempt.

The lesson here is that we can learn more from our mistakes and failures than from our successes.

Thank you Dennis for giving me this life lesson.