How a couple can bring variety to sexual relations

For many people, penetration is the most exciting because it is the most intimate act that we can perform with another person. The different positions bring some variety to a very basic mating act. Women are much less interested in different positions. The rear entrance can be more explicit and erotic.

Positions for intercourse include woman on top and doggy style with man behind. The different positions for intercourse are popular with men because they allow them more explicit views of their thrusting action. Couples experiment for a while, but usually resume missionary-style sex. This position involves less work for the woman and gives the man the best position to control the stimulation he gets from thrusting.

Quickies can be erotic if used in different places. Quickies often involve a standing position, even if only the rear entrance is bent over a table or in the shower. The woman can lean against an object (a tree, a table, or the edge of the shower) or lean at 90 degrees and rest on her stomach. If a woman often moves her hips during intercourse (to help stimulate the penis and give a sense of more proactive participation), it can be nice to have the excuse to do absolutely nothing. A man’s need to ejaculate into an orifice is clear and can make a woman feel like a receptacle for semen. If a couple has a positive relationship, the rewards can go both ways.

Some men fantasize about having sex outdoors or in unusual places. The most proactive couples change the location of sex as needed. Some people enjoy the risk of being caught or observed in places like public transportation or the movies. Some people like to watch and others like to be watched. Dogging is popular in the UK, which involves couples having sex (often in the car) in woods designated for that purpose so that others (mainly men) can watch. Others may prefer the privacy and seclusion of places like a private garden or remote rural location.

Some couples may enjoy dressing up or using fantasy role-playing to enact sexual scenarios. Some couples are attracted to tickling, spanking, and other kinky activities. It’s all part of the fun. What attracts depends on a person’s personality and fantasies. Much of this activity is purely sensual for a woman.

A man can tell a woman what he’s thinking while stimulating her from behind. A man should speak in terms of drives, dominance, and possession rather than the graphic details that men enjoy. A man can caress the area between a woman’s thighs (from the clitoris to the anus). He can keep her buttocks apart before her and while she enters her. He can use one hand to hold a woman tight while he dominates her (only with her permission!).

A man should change the pace of his thrusts and the depth of penetration, alternating between stimulating the glans of his penis at the entrance to his lover’s vagina (the most sensitive part) and using longer, deeper thrusts. A man can use his body weight to provide a feeling of dominance. When a man thrusts deeply, the base of his penis strikes against her vulva and perineum (towards the anus). The woman may enjoy mild sensations of arousal, especially when her partner’s groin grinds against her labia and clitoris.

A woman can enjoy the eroticism of being dominated (by full body contact and her weight) and the psychological satisfaction of being penetrated (by knowing that his penis is deep inside her body). Intercourse provides little internal sensation, but a woman can feel external pressure. A man can show affection for her by kissing and caressing her.

BDSM involves the use of physical restraints that limit a person’s range of motion and the acting out of submissive and dominant roles by consenting adults. To increase security, partners use a safe word so that the person in the submissive role can stop all activity. They also discuss beforehand what they agree the limits of allowed activities will be. A less risky version is to use only light restraints and a blindfold to make sex a little more mysterious and increase the sensations of being penetrated and touched by a lover.

Women often conclude that men lack imagination when it comes to sex. This is because intercourse is a relatively mundane repetitive act for a woman, while for a man, penetration represents the most erotic situation imaginable. This is natural given the biological sex drive of men. Many men have no need for fantasies of any kind because intercourse is sufficient for their sexual needs. For women, sex is a social experience rather than an erotic one. They expect a lover who is sensitive to their needs, which are more psychological than physical. Women enjoy sensual teasing, sexual anticipation, and feeling desired. All of this takes time, which is difficult for a younger man. Older men, who are less aroused, have the luxury of having time to enjoy their own arousal and spend time pleasuring a lover.

As in the human species, it is the male among practically all mammals that initiates the definitive genital union. (Alfredo Kinsey 1953)