How to use humor to improve your relationships

Humor has long been considered one of the most effective tools for judging the quality of any relationship. If laughter is present, you can assume that the relationship is healthy. When the laughter stops, you can be pretty sure the relationship is on the decline. This barometer of laughter can be applied to any relationship at home, work, and play. Laughter means you are having fun and fun means things are going well. Take a look at the relationships around you. Do couples laugh a lot together? Has the laughter stopped in some of your relationships?

Here are some ideas you can use to ensure that laughter remains an ever-present reality in your relationships, thereby ensuring their quality and resilience. Remember that introducing humor to previously humorless relationships may take time, but the results will be worth it. Start slowly by working on your own fun-loving, upbeat disposition. Laughter and humor are contagious, so it won’t be long before others catch on.

* Remember that a sense of humor is learned, not inherited.

* Commit to becoming a humor hound. Look for humor everywhere. When something seems fun to you, enjoy it. Let the laughter flow. After the fun event is over, remember it and enjoy it and laugh again.

* Begin to cultivate an atmosphere of humor and laughter in your relationships. Try to enjoy and share the humor as often as you can.

* If you don’t laugh as much as before and you want to correct the situation, start associating with funny and fun-loving people and avoid depression.

* Learn to laugh at yourself. If you don’t, you leave the job to others.

* Look for funny articles in your newspaper, cut them out and share them. I remember reading the want ads one night and discovering this gem: “Successful candidate must have 203 years of experience.” Obviously the writer meant 2 or 3 years of experience. I immediately cut it up and put it in my collection for future use.

* Encourage others to share your humor. Listen and appreciate when they do. When someone sees that you’ve enjoyed their humorous input, they’ll be eager to keep sharing.

* In my full-day humor workshops, I always ask participants to break into groups and start sharing the funniest thing that ever happened to them. The laughter generated by this simple activity is a pleasure for the eyes. Try this with your friends sometime.

* Collect cartoons and jokes and display them on the refrigerator or bulletin board. Be sure to avoid racist, sexist, or obscene humor. There’s plenty of clean good humor to be had without resorting to these. Remember that there is a difference between dirty and earthy humor. Personally, I like earthy humor. I don’t appreciate dirty material.

* Watch comedy movies and TV shows as often as possible.

* Use humor to neutralize conflict in your relationships. When things get tense, use self-deprecating humor to lighten things up. I remember one night I had an argument with my wife, Carol. In the heat of the moment she said something totally out of character. She said something hurtful. In my surprise I looked at her and said: “Carol, when you say things like that you lower yourself to my level.” She laughed and so did I. It wasn’t long before things returned to normal.

Good luck on your journey to HA HA Land.