Listen to the inner voice of love during grief

Have you ever felt extremely sad, abandoned, unloved and suddenly received an insight that gives you temporary relief from your anguish? Or have you felt like you have no future now that your loved one is not going to be with you, and then, in an instant, see something you can do to keep the fight for survival alive? Where does this information come from? Who or what is behind?

Henri Nouwen, the world’s best-selling spiritual writer, says it comes from the inner voice of love, what others might call your spirit guides, guardian angels, God, or your deceased loved one. The scientific community would give it to intuition, the sudden knowledge without reason that springs from within.

The important thing here is: how can you deliberately seek it out to cope with the loss of your loved one? How can you avoid being completely absorbed in your pain, one of the mistakes we all make at one time or another? Here are some helpful considerations.

1. Find a place in your house, church or in nature where you know that no one will disturb you or where silence reigns. Rest in a comfortable position for a few minutes. Scan your body for tension and visualize any tight muscle as a stretched rubber band. Now use your imagination and see how the tight muscle shortens and relaxes. Take your time.

2. Keep a pencil and paper near you or nearby so you can write down anything that comes to mind. Now ask God, your Higher Power, angel, spirit guide, or loved one to come help you in your greatest time of need. As you sit quietly, be alert to any images that enter your awareness, sounds you may hear, or feelings you may have. Write down what you think is significant. Later, meditate on what you have written.

3. Next, ask where you should go to find the right person or people to share your deepest feelings about your great loss. Your inner voice will lead you to those whose love will help ease your pain. Listen patiently. Look for a clue from the images that appear in your mind, after completing the question.

4. Ask what you need to know or what course of action you should take to deal with the deep emotions you are feeling. Treat your inner talk the same way you would treat a best friend who was in your presence. Once again, write whatever comes to mind.

5. Be willing to accept an image that appears in your consciousness that you did not expect. Maybe it’s a bird, a landscape, a pet, or another animal. Consider the symbolic meaning of this appearance and how it can be helpful in your grievance work and adjustment to your new surroundings.

6. What should you do if you feel you have not received a response to your request? Just as we have been counseled to persist when we pray, the same applies when seeking the inner voice of love. It will show up, but not necessarily on your schedule. You can receive information about a dream or a vision. Or later, you may suddenly get a thought or message when you least expect it. In any case, be consistent in setting a daily time to listen to your inner voice.

7. What if an unwanted thought, a sad image, or a punitive or authoritarian figure from your past comes to mind? Pause and decide if it has any meaning or something to learn (for example, the punitive figure might remind you of what not to do in a relationship). Then send it as easily as it appeared, immediately returning your full attention to your request. Don’t give him power by letting him run around. Refocus.

In short, identify with the love within and trust your inner voice to give you the new awareness you need to see your loss in an accepting light. Of course, this is not easy to do, although it is the only course of action that will lead to peace. With each search within you you are developing your spiritual base.

Constantly ask for the insight and courage to face your new conditions of existence and learn to accept the unpredictable. Look for repetitive internal signs that you may have missed when they first appeared. Let the love within lift you up and see you through this transformation. You are loved forever.