Long Distance Relationships and Mandarin Chinese

If you’ve been in a long-distance relationship for a while, you know, as I do, how difficult it can be. It’s even harder if the person you’re having that relationship with is a Chinese person whose native language is obviously not the same as yours! One of the biggest problems I experienced in the three long distance relationships I have been in, was misunderstandings due to cultural difference, these in themselves caused many sleepless nights on both sides, not to mention pointless arguments and bizarre breakups.

The most important thing I found during their time apart was to be able to smooth over misunderstandings and not create too many waves by exercising much-needed emotional discipline, but emotional discipline is not all you need to make sure that the Chinese woman/girl in question he still maintains his interest in you; In fact, even though you may feel like you’re saying the right things, Mandarin being what it is, and Chinese women’s thinking and culture is very different from your own, you may not be pushing the right buttons at all! So let’s take a look at some winning techniques that can ensure that her interest doesn’t wane, or worse, that her attentions don’t go elsewhere.

1. Here’s one that’s always nice to use: ‘ju li chansheng mei’ or ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’; the closest meaning is actually ‘distance creates beauty between people’, beauty in this case does not particularly mean physical beauty, but can mean a kind of emotional beauty in the same way that we can say seeing something through ‘glasses’ Pink color’ . Thus, saying this award may reframe the long-distance experience into a romantic one for her, making your ongoing nature a pleasure rather than a burden.

2. ‘Wo zhen xiang ni, wode lao po’ (wife). This phrase basically translated means ‘I really miss you my wife’. Now first of all you No she needs to be really married to be able to say this, she may not have even agreed to be his Chinese girlfriend. this is simply a way to show your girlfriend that your feelings are strong and committed to her. This is very important to Chinese women, and don’t worry if it’s the same as asking him to marry you, because it’s not. I hear Chinese men and women (women use the term ‘lao gong’/husband) saying this to each other all the time, some of those relationships end in marriage and some don’t. It’s simply a cultural difference that you can use to your advantage. With the next one we are going to use another great tactic.

3. With this one we are really going to ‘expand’ the emotional feelings: ‘Duode nuhai xihuan wo, danshi wo yao ni, bu yao bie de’. This sentence means ‘Lots of girls like me (change to ‘nan ha’ if he’s a man), but I want you and no one else.’ This is a great prayer to not only convey deep feeling and commitment to her, but also to prove your worth.

Now, you may think that telling you that other women are attracted to you is perhaps a bit unnecessary, and in a normal relationship where you are together every day and can see each other, I might agree with you; but you are in a long distance relationship and the main point is to keep it, so often you’ll need a little more than good old-fashioned love, you might need the very old-fashioned green-eyed monster, jealousy. You’re sure to be on her mind for days afterward, and she’ll make sure to do the work for you, instead of turning lukewarm.

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