Positive Thinking: Why Positive Thinking Is Unnatural

If given the option to think positively vs. negatively, it seems obvious that positive thinking is the best option. It is certainly more pleasant to think the best of each person and situation vs. assuming the worst. The former leads to happiness, love, and fulfillment, while the latter leads to anxiety, frustration, anger, and depression.

On the whole, however, human beings tend to be glass-half-empty types of people, a propensity that can be attributed to nature and nurture.

The human mind’s tendency to focus on the negative is in part a survival instinct honed over millions of years. Throughout history, survival has depended on the ability of human beings to learn to avoid and protect themselves from dangerous situations and things, such as attacks by wild animals, inclement weather or poisonous plants. To navigate the very real dangers that threatened their lives, humans needed to rely on negative thinking, which worked to help them avoid danger.

Today, the dangers we face are not nearly as life-threatening as those faced by early humans, and even a century or two ago. But the human mind still works the same way: its job is to keep us safe from harm. If you have an experience that was painful, your mind takes note and tries to help you avoid feeling that pain again in the future. The methods you use vary. You may notice extreme visceral fear in some cases, while in other situations negative thinking appears as a stream of unsupported self-talk designed to undermine your confidence so that you feel too insecure and scared to move on.

Learning to focus on the negative is also a skill that is learned through socialization. Some messages we absorb are unspoken, communicated through impersonal means like the media. Others communicate directly through our parents and relatives, friends, teachers, and neighbors.

For example, if your mother was extremely critical, you may have internalized the message that something is wrong with you and you can’t do anything right. When she receives feedback as an adult, her mind seizes on any negativity she can find and uses it as evidence to support her belief that she is a failure. For example, if your boss tells you that your work on a report fell short, instead of taking the feedback at face value and correcting the mistake, your mind scolds you with comments like, “I’m an idiot. I don’t I can’t believe I blew it. I’m in over my head here. I can’t believe I’ve been entrusted with this job. I’m going to screw things up.”

Your inner critic says these things in a misguided attempt to prevent you from experiencing the same kind of pain again. The result, however, is that you cringe and fear repeating the mistake, making it increasingly difficult to take on additional responsibilities and risks that could result in additional criticism.

As you receive input from the people in your life, evaluate what you do with them. Do you take feedback at face value, distill what is useful, and then use the information to make positive changes in your behavior and performance? Or do you use comments as proof that you’re not good enough…and permission to punish yourself?

If you notice the latter, rein in your negative thinking. Take a step back to objectively view the situation. Take stock of where you went wrong and what you need to do to improve your performance in the future. Then find something you’ve done well to redirect your mind’s attention to the positive in the situation.

For example, you might say to yourself, “I messed up one section of the report. But now I understand what I did wrong. I know how to fix it and how to avoid the problem in the future. And my boss said the rest of the report was stellar.” Overall, I did a great job!”

It may be human nature to dwell on the negative. But as a person committed to mindful living, you have the ability to retrain your mind to focus on the positive…and enjoy a happier, more fulfilling life that will result.