Stay connected in a long distance relationship

Long distance relationships can be fraught with challenges that couples on the same block never face. On the other hand, the creative ways you find to stay connected while living apart will increase your creativity when you live together.

It’s incredibly easy to take someone else for granted. You take for granted that they will always be there or will always love you … just because they always have. But when they live apart for a long period of time, they can use those memories to bring them closer together when they finally live together. This is an advantage that other couples only experience if they purposely take the time to be creative in connecting.

So while it is challenging to stay connected, learning these skills now makes your relationship better in the future.

While you’re apart, take the time and make the effort to communicate at least once a day, more often if you can. You can maintain an emotional connection with brief and frequent communication. They don’t have to be long, deep heart-to-heart conversations, but can be short text messages about your day, asking for advice, or simply telling your partner that you are thinking about them.

However, let’s not be stalking or suffocating. Calling or texting every hour, waking them up before the alarm clock, or asking to have pizza delivered to their house for dinner at night is a bit too much. Instead, seek substantive and detailed communications about your thoughts, ask questions, ask for advice, or tell what happened to you that day.

But let’s face it. After a while, texting and phone calls can get tedious. So break the mold and make a video for your partner. Use your phone to record yourself while driving to work, while the phone is on the passenger seat pointed at you. Chat on the phone as if your partner is sitting in the seat next to you.

Write a love letter. The art of postal mail is failing in our society today. And yet there is something much more personal and loving about a sheet of paper in hand. Write a thank you note to your partner for listening to you rant about your boss. Or write an invitation to your next appointment.

Try to visit each other as often as possible. A long distance can mean a 30 minute trip or a 10 hour trip. Online dating has made meeting people from all over the country easier than ever. Before this, you had to get in the car and drive somewhere to see the Rocky Mountains and meet a cowboy! Schedule as much time together as you can and dedicate it to other people. We live in community and when you spend it together with other people, you really know yourself better.

Alternate who travels. It may be easier for one to travel than the other, but it is important that both of you make an effort to see each other. Otherwise, the one who makes the whole trip may come to feel resentment for the one who does not travel. If both of you can escape, try to meet somewhere in between from time to time. You will not be able to spend time with your friends, but it is a good way to disconnect from everyday life and connect with your partner. Just don’t let it be the only way you find yourself, or your understanding of life together will be seen through rose-colored glasses.

Celebrate the ability to talk about the “boring” everyday parts of your day. The mundane parts of your day are normal for everyone. Celebrate your ability to share that with your partner and make them an interrelated part of everyday life. During these times, be sure to support your partner in their decisions or when they are stressed or hurt. Make sure you are available to them when things get crazy in their life away from you. Not only do they feel loved and connected when they know that you are available to them, it deepens your relationship, and isn’t that what you’re looking for?