Striking, achievable, and measurable goals are part of the claim process

Setting new goals helps you continue your complaint journey. I learned this lesson from experience. After my daughter and father-in-law died on the same weekend in February, I started thinking about goals. Thinking was difficult because I was overwhelmed with pain and stress.

The loss of a child, no matter their age, is devastating and my first goal was to make it to the next hour. So I promised to endure the morning, the afternoon and the whole day. I worked on these goals and was making progress when my brother had a heart attack and died. Three loved ones were gone forever.

In November of the same year, my former son-in-law died suddenly, a tragedy that left my Trin grandchildren orphaned. Instantly, my goals were passed from me to my grandchildren, my top priority. The Cancer Net website discusses priorities and goals in their article, “Coping with Change After a Loss.” Death changes your life, and according to the article, “it may also be necessary to change priorities for practical reasons.”

My twin grandsons were 15 1/2 when they moved in with my husband and me. At first, my goals for them were basic: cook healthy meals, accommodate them, and research counseling options. As the months passed, these goals grew to include supporting school activities, helping with homework (when asked), and having fun together as a family.

Angela Morrow, RN, writes about goal setting in her article, “Letting Go of Grief: Entering a New Season in Life.” Morrow believes mourners should set one goal for the coming year, another goal for the second year after the loss, and a third goal for the fifth year after the loss. “Having goals to work toward will keep you moving on your new journey,” she writes.

Raising teenagers at this stage of life was challenging and my goals must meet this challenge. I read articles on the internet about goal setting and one on the Top Achievement website, “SMART Goal Setting” by Gene Donohue, was really helpful. The word “smart” means specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely. “When you identify the goals that are most important to you,” says Dononue, “you start to find ways to make them happen.”

I applied the SMART approach to complaint recovery objectives. My first goal was to go pick up the twins safely and lovingly at 18 years old. We reached this goal last week. Goal two would be to help them finish high school. College graduation would come later, and if the twins wanted it, graduate school. The diplomas would be the measurable results of these objectives.

These are achievable goals, and most importantly, they will prepare my grandchildren for life. I will have to take great care of myself and follow my doctor’s instructions to achieve these goals. This goal setting has been an amazing chapter in my complaint journey. You, too, may be in for surprises as your trip evolves. enjoy them.

Copyright 2010 by Harriet Hodgson