How to get the love you deserve

Love is a powerful emotion; it can nurture, invigorate, uplift, validate, and heal. Love is the essence of who we are and the core of our existence. Where there is love, there is no fear, anger or hate. We long for love as it is our birthright and whether we received it unconditionally as children or not, our hearts ache for it.

First of all, I want to tell you: “YOU DESERVE LOVE!” “YOU DESERVE ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD!” We are all at the service of love. It is our birthright, although we may have been conditioned differently. Some of you may not feel worthy or deserving of love, some of you may be afraid to love, and some of you may have decided that love is not something you want to open up to.

But the big question remains: How do you get the love you deserve? You’ve probably heard the answer before, however, it’s not one that most want to hear. Love is within you! You just have to be open to giving and receiving. If this answer irritates you, as it once did to me, that’s understandable. You see, we’re a society of quick fixes, instant gratification, and simple solutions, and unfortunately, this is an inside job.

So if it’s inside us, you wonder, why can’t I feel it? The answer is simple, but complex. You have likely built a wall of protection around your heart at some point in your life that has isolated you from your true essence. It is likely that you have experienced some pain in the past that caused you to protect your heart from being hurt again.

For my part, I grew up in a dysfunctional home with an emotionally available mother and father. Love was a scarcity and very hard to come by. There were times when I “felt” love, however, most of the time, I had to be good, work hard, or do something to get some of the hot merchandise. So with that said, I had to isolate myself from my own heart to protect myself. It was as if my oxygen supply cable had been pinched, so I had to resort to other resources.

As a child, you should “feel” the love of your parents or caregivers. It is not enough for them to say that they love you when their actions do not emanate love. Love is a constant supply from the Universe or God and is meant to flow through each of us. When a well-meaning father separates himself from his own love, he cannot allow the energy to flow to his children. As children, we are very subjective and don’t understand that our parents “can’t” love us, but we make up the story that we don’t deserve love or that we are not loved, or even that something is wrong. with us.

And we carry those beliefs throughout life attracting situation after situation that echoes the same message. Those beliefs are so open in our subconscious mind that we don’t even know what the driving force behind our lack of love is. It is discovering those beliefs that will help you get the love you deserve.

If you think you deserve a love that’s tangled with abuse, that’s what you’ll get. If you think you deserve conditional love, that’s what you’ll get. If you believe that you don’t deserve love, it will be difficult for someone to love you and you will probably sabotage everything that resembles love.

Make a list of what LOVE means to you based on your childhood and past experiences. We have all heard the Bible verse that “Love is patient, love is kind. He is not envious, he is not boastful, he is not proud. It’s not rude, it’s not selfish…etc.” This is what love is supposed to be, however many of you may have a different definition. For me, it was “love is being yelled at, love is being hurt and feels insecure, love never stays, love is manipulative…etc.” Once you can define what love is to you, then you can begin to dismantle the lies and establish a new meaning of love.

Another good indicator of what love is like for you is how you treat yourself. Are you self-critical or guilty? Do you take care of yourself and your health? Do you have friends who do not treat you well? If you are hard on yourself or a perfectionist, this stems from deep feelings of inadequacy, and you will attract others who reflect that.

So when you ask yourself “what is the love that I deserve?” there may be a conflict between the rational mind and the subconscious. I’m sure you “know” that you deserve kind, gentle, safe, unconditional love, but if those underlying beliefs say something different, they will always win. Take the time to reprogram your thinking of what ‘was’ the love you deserve and what ‘really is’ the love you deserve. Hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), EMDR, and working with a counselor or life coach are great ways to dismantle any limiting or false beliefs you may have.

Remember, you will always get the love you deserve, so by learning to love yourself and convincing yourself that you deserve the highest and best form of love, you will finally be able to receive true love. Raise your standards of what love is to you and it will come!