Unpack the anger before your vacation

With spring break approaching, we head into the travel season in full swing. Shortly after spring break ends, summer break begins. I don’t know about you, but some people seem hell-bent on turning vacations into paramilitary excursions. They have schedules, itineraries, agendas, budgets, goals, supply inventories, and checkpoints. Yuck! This would drive me crazy. I love vacations that take me away from these things. Simply getting to and from vacations can be work. So what happens when the time you’re supposed to spend “chilling out” turns into another job, demand, or obligation? You guessed it: someone is going to lose their cool.

Have you ever been taken off your flight? Have you ever got a flat tire on a long trip or lost your wallet while traveling? The holidays are a prime time for anger to spiral out of control.

When we travel, things go wrong that make simple problems ten times their normal size. We forget or lose an important personal item. Once, on a weekend trip, my wife forgot her prescription allergy medicine. Suddenly a simple trip to the pharmacy turned into a big project. I remember other vacations with friends that resulted in our truck getting stuck in a ravine for most of the trip.

When things take us by surprise during the holidays, our usual protections can become ineffective. On the road, the potential for these problems increases dramatically. Still, Americans love to travel. We are more dispersed than other countries, except perhaps Canada, so vacations, family events, and vacations generally mean traveling by car or plane to our destinations.

If you are planning a travel vacation to reduce your stress level, you may be expecting too much from the trip. Traveling does not calm people. Tension often worsens. Now, I am not advocating that people stop taking vacations to fun and exciting destinations. However, I am advocating for a healthier approach to the holidays.

Being someone who doesn’t like to be rushed, I like to make sure my vacation really rejuvenates me. Going around the world in two weeks is NOT a plan to rest. It is a plan for a heart attack or a fit of anger. Here is a short list of things to consider to reduce stress and help make your vacation a smooth one rather than a seasonal career change:

1. Limit the number of events you plan to attend. Take time to “savor” an experience. If the experience gets boring, you can always add something, but if it’s better than you imagined, you don’t want to cut it short by an abstract schedule. Holidays are about “relaxing and enjoying.”

2. Make room in your schedule to change it if someone else can’t keep their emotions to themselves. Remember, other people will be stressed by over planning their trip to the same destination.

3. Minimize alcohol consumption. Nothing ruins a break faster than someone who is out of control. There are other ways to relax that are safer and much more effective.

4. Make experience about experience, not expense. If you have a list of souvenir addicts at home, order things from the Internet when you get home. Your vacation is your time, not other people’s

weather. You wouldn’t want your spouse to stop a romantic dinner at sunset to take a business call. Don’t let family keep you from getting the rest you need.

5. Express your vacation goals to the rest of your group. If your kids want an exciting, action-packed vacation, but you want to sunbathe on a deck, this will only create conflicts that will ruin everyone’s good time, including yours. You may want to plan two separate vacations: one for the kids and one for yourself. If you really need to rest, plan to take yours first to be “awake” for your good time.

6. Be in your own vacation photos and take less of them. Don’t take all the photos because it looks like you weren’t there. Be part of the history of the trip. Many places record videos for you. Leave them, while you enjoy the experience.

If you have trouble planning a vacation without getting angry or stressed, visit angrymanagementbakersfield.com or on Facebook: Ken Bomar, MS CART.